Peon Union vows Strike Action
Posted by Stropp on February 4, 2008Hordes of Peons were laid off today as their employer Peons4Hires closed down several large farming stations. Peons4Hire blamed lower than expected quarterly earnings coupled with the current economic conditions for the downsizing.
A Peons4Hire spokesorc made a brief statement at the gates of the Windrunner facility just prior to the layoffs, where he stated: “that since Azeroth was currently experiencing an economic recession due to poor credit management and the recent subprime crisis, it has become necessary for Peons4Hire to consider a corporate restructuring.
When asked if the recent court settlement with Blizzard had anything to with the layoffs, the spokesorc decapitated the offending reporter with his axe and said that many of the companys financial problems could have been resolved if employees hadn’t been using the TPS report covers to dispose of their sunshine trout.
The Allied Peons Union (APU) spokeorc, L.Z. McOrc refuted the companies allegations of employee behaviour, and laid the blame squarely on the lawsuit win by Blizzard that awarded them a permanent injunction against spamming players in World of Warcraft.
Mr McOrc made the following statement:
With the permanent injunction awarded to Blizzard, serious hardship has befallen many of our faithful, yet lazy, peons. Since Peons4Hire are no longer able to sell virtual assets, or provide powerlevelling services to their clients, there is no longer a need for our services.
Many lazy peons are feeling the pinch tonight. These valued employees will not be able to provide for their families without the security of employment. What’s worse is that Peons4Hire is holding back on our redundancy benefits.
To ensure our members will have enough cheese and dry bread to feed their families we feel justified taking this strike action.
Wether the strike action is successful or not, it appears that the days of gold sellers are numbered. Blizzard, by aiming not at EULA violations, but at the negative effect that gold sellers have on player enjoyment and by implication on Blizzards revenue, have scored a significant win that will affect peons everywhere.
This reporter spoke with a number of peons as they headed out the server gates today and one sentiment echoed among the majority of displaced peons.
“I can’t wait for Warhammer.”
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My mailman’s wife’s brother-in-law was laid off in this debacle and it’s true - no severance. According to him, one of the peons (not him of course) was so angry that before he left he secretly drilled holes in the Foreman’s Blackjack. The next person to use it will have it break in two in their hands.
Your mailman’s wife’s brother-in-law was lucky. In Azeroth severance is as nasty as it sounds.
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